"According to Bowlby interactions between mother and child (which begins in early pregnancy, and going by the embrace the exchange of glances, nutrition, comfort, etc..), A structure that is defined attachment system, which guides the system (even in adult life) the interaction and affective relational exchanges. The main function of the mother and which ones to give the child a secure base : him feel seen and protected. The basic function safely in the early years of life is performed physically by her mother, diveine then, through the internalization of comprtamenti and affects aroused by the same mother, an internal structure capable of consular protection. In this way the child, and then the adult can feel free to allontanrsi and gradually differentiate from the mother and begin to explore the outside world, with the certainty of being able to find on his return. " (For a reading complete, see here
)
Being a
secure base for their children is the responsibility of each parent. It means being able to infuse them the "courage", or rather, the ability to go to the
free to explore the world, confident in their ability
, With the certainty of
could go back and find a parent that can make him feel welcome
, and restore physical and emotional nourishment.
Being free also makes it free to go back.
Beyond the technicalities, this is one of the "issues" on which I have often questioned: my ability to give my daughter the confidence to believe in herself and in her ability to "fly."
The first year of a child's life (but I would say something more!), As today it helps me remember one of my dearest friend
, it is still a time
sui generis in the growth of an individual , a period in which the mother-child (and other figures of reference) is very close and crucial. This means for the mother (every case has its own story) perceive as important, challenging, sometimes suffocating, but the link is good and all-so that in this particular period is determined with his son. Each
the "colors" in its own way, with their own experiences and feelings.
I is not a mystery, at times I feared that if they came out :-)
Yet, they told me, it comes out. You do not know how, but there comes a time when your child discovers the world, she discovers her father, she discovers her grandmother, discovers the other.
He falls asleep without you, when you were still believed to be essential. Greets you with his hand on the door why did you decide that leaving is more interesting than staying with you.
"Children who grow up and then go away, attracted by the face of fantasy" . Nothing sad and melancholy, but just watch the normal pace of life. This is the stage
for us has just begun: one in which, in every little daily act, we learn that children are not
the world to meet our needs or our needs .
For them, the children are not ours: they are of Life. That said, do not expect me to be a free woman: I am still the mother of a puppy that has taaanto need me! I enjoy a few hours of freedom and the occasional goal, I do not know if tonight will not ask again, and without fail, my presence.
Because life as we know, is like the waves, but also goes back.
To you, dear friend , I dedicate these words that I heard and I thought of you, even if it's not New Year. Because I thought the "Your First Year", and I hope it is as good as possible. Courage.
